Preparing items for sale online can be a great way to declutter and make some extra cash, but dealing with bargain hunters and time-wasters comes with the territory. Getty images.
Photo by
Edwin Tan
I watch the three Messenger dots dance rhythmically as a potential buyer on Facebook Marketplace types away, my eyes poised to roll at the next ridiculous thing he offers in an attempt to convince me to take his, frankly insulting, offer of half the listed price of my for-sale item.
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“I’ll pay cash and I’ll pick it up.”
The message lands, and, as predicted, I scoff at its content.
As if paying cash and picking it up is some kind of selling point.
Isn’t that what anyone buying something on a trading platform does?
I’m not taking cheques, I don’t have a mobile Eftpos machine, and I never offered that it came with delivery.
Nonetheless, there are others who do expect you to deliver their treasures.
But only at a time that suits them.
And sometimes quite a distance away without proposing any more dollars for time, fuel and inconvenience.
Or, some people tell you’ll they’ll buy your item and ask for your address.
“I’ll be home after five,” I say, “I’ll send you the address then if you’re still interested.”
And they tell you, “I’ll be at work then,” without offering you any future availability to consider.
Okay, but what shall I do with that information?
If you can’t come when I’m home, I can sell it to the next person who can.
Did you want me to leave work to meet you for the 20 bucks I might not even make if you decide you don’t want to buy what I’m selling when you see it?
People also offer to swap you their trash for your trash, like it’s a treasure.
Things of far lesser value, things I have zero use for, things so far removed from the category of the item I’m selling.
Others ask you to hold it for them because they don’t get paid for another fortnight.
I’ve made the mistake of doing that before and never heard from the ‘buyer’ again, so, once more, that’s a no, sir.
Then, “Where are you located?”, when it says it right there in the listing.
Once on the location of item, once in the text that says “pick up in Shepparton” (also reiterating that you, my dear, will be picking it up).
If you’re brave enough and time-rich enough to handle all of that, you’ve then got the scammers who don’t haggle, but want to pay via PayID and then send a “brother” or a “cousin” to pick the item up because they live elsewhere.
When the transaction “doesn’t work”, they pressure you to refund them money that was never sent in the first place; you know, that old chestnut.
Let’s just say, my re-entry to Facebook Marketplace this week quickly reminded me why it had taken months to muster the motivation to list items I’d left unused and gathering dust in that pile in my garage for so long.
I give loads of things away.
I often put things on my front lawn for people to inspect and remove at their leisure.
Other items I donate to schools and childcare centres and op shops.
Sometimes I give things to friends if they want them.
I figure that I’ve gotten my money’s worth out of the items, so the items no longer “owe” me anything. I’m just happy to see someone else get some further use out of them.
But sometimes there are bigger ticket items still worth quite a bit.
Why not try and get a few dollars for them and add it to the next holiday fund?
Or, at the very least, put it away to pay for fuel and other rising costs at this point.
Sometimes the items belonged to my children; things they got for birthdays or Christmas presents, so I sell their items for them to get them some pocket money.
Still, we price our items reasonably.
Yet people still try to screw you down to half of a $500 item; an item that is worth double your asking price, not half of it.
“Tell her she’s dreaming,” I reckon they say, when it is, in fact, they who are dreaming that I’m actually going to consider dropping the sale price by 50 whole per cent.
I am not as desperate to sell something as most of these buyers must think sellers are.
I can wait.
I think some general rules for buyers would be:
If sellers were open to swaps, they’d say it in the listing.
If they were open to offers, they’d place ‘ONO’ (or nearest offer) after their listing.
If they were happy to deliver, they’d say “can deliver”.
If they were happy to wait a fortnight for you to get paid, they’d probably have mentioned it.
You will probably have to arrange to pick up at a time that suits the seller, not yourself. There is only one item for sale, but several interested potential buyers you’re competing with.
I can’t speak for every seller, of course, and I guess there’s no harm in asking questions.
But in the world of Facebook Marketplace, I really do challenge the age-old notion that “there are no stupid questions”.
There’s also a truckload of audacity.
To be honest, I’d sooner give even a big-ticket item away than sell it too cheaply to a rude buyer with outlandish expectations.
I’m not playing silly games anymore.
I will leave you on read with even less guilt than the basement offer you made.
Christmas has grinches, Marketplace has … whatever I am.
If nothing else, at least it’s an amusing experiment.
Taking photos, writing descriptions and clearing out unwanted items is the easy part. Navigating Facebook Marketplace buyers is often where the challenge begins. Getty images.
Photo by
SeventyFour
